"Hesh, as a marketing guru, what is the critical factor that ensures your company's success," asked the radio talk-show host, staring off into space.

"I don't like my clients." I said. "As a matter of fact, I hate most of them."
I had caught his attention. He laughed nervously and said, "OK, Hesh, we know you like to write comedy, but this is a serious business show. Let's stay focused."

"I am serious. Let me explain," I said. "My success is tied to being able to serve as many clients as possible. There are only 24 hours in a day. By analyzing my work schedule and those of my employees, I found that we spent way too much time with clients we liked."

"Typically, we would do an hour of business and then follow up with another hour of schmoozing about kids, spouses, employees, and of course, golf. These people made great potential friends but terrible clients. I usually lost money on each one of those consulting contracts."

"On the other hand, when I despised a client, I'd do the work, and then get out of his office. I didn't ask any questions about the boar head on the wall or the photo of him bicycling with the president at what looked like Camp David."

I had gotten the host's attention. He probed, "Hesh, your perspective goes against the latest theories of business growth, the need for passion for your business and the need to develop long-term relationships with your customers."

I responded, "Wait, I didn't say I lacked passion for my business or that I churn my customers. Let me repeat. I just don't like them."

I explained to the radio audience how I had grasped this new insight. Like most things, it happened serendipitously. I was talking to a favorite customer when my secretary reminded me that I had put my wife on hold. When I clicked to her line, she had already hung up.

I immediately called her back. She had a simple question. "Why can't you treat me like I am your best customer? I want you to respond to my needs 24/7, always be available, and anticipate my needs before I do."

She did have a point. I decided to turn around my business philosophy 180 degrees. I would give my time to people that were important to me--family and friends--and be direct and unflattering with those whom I did business.

Strangely, in spite of my new approach, my business grew. I was able to underbid my competitors. I realized that we could spend less time with clients, if we didn't like them, and still get the job done.

Today, this business philosophy has become my company's mission statement: We don't like you; but we will make money for you.

I even require that all my employees sign an affidavit saying that they will never get friendly with a client. And I check. We frequently listen to their conversations to ensure that it is all business.

"Hesh, before we go to a commercial break," said the host, looking to end the interview, "one last question: So how are things with your wife, now that you can spend all this extra quality time with her?"

"Initially, we spent a lot more time together," I answered. "Then we realized we really didn'tt like each other and have been divorced for a year."

"I'm sorry, that's a shame," the host said, flustered and embarrassed. "Did the divorce have a negative impact on your business? I assume your wife got half-ownership of your business in the divorce settlement."

"Yes, she did. But it has actually worked out very well," I said. "She has all the ingredients to be my perfect business partner now that we hate each other."

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