I am a facilitator. Yes that is what I do for a living. I make money because when you put a group of humans in a room together, they seem to disintegrate into anarchy without a facilitator.

Now, I am not the leader of the group or the boss, God forbid. My job is to facilitate the process, to get the real issues discussed.

My most critical skill set? I have excellent penmanship. I write the wisdom of the group members on a flip chart, and it must be legible to all.

And I don't just have any flip chart. I own the Stradivarius of flip charts. Mine was originally hand-crafted from titanium for Tom Peters, author of "In Search of Excellence." My wife thinks I am crazy to take it on the road. It could be ruined. However, I believe in keeping it in active use and not putting it the bank vault. (It won't fit anyway…)

I learned my trade at the Facilitator Academy of Aspen, CO. The curriculum compares in difficulty to an M.B.A. at Harvard. The first course is the most critical, the "History of Facilitation in Western Culture." We start with the Exodus story in which Aaron is depicted as the first great facilitator, aiding Moses in his negotiations with Pharaoh.

However, as any great facilitator, Aaron had his crises too. As his brother climbs Mount Sinai, Aaron, the facilitator, forgets his role and tries to offer real leadership. The result was the disastrous golden calf incident and 40 years of wandering in the desert.

Recently some of the junior faculty has proposed an alternative hypothesis. Moses erred in not taking Aaron with him to the top of Mount. Sinai. Had Aaron accompanied Moses it would have taken 40 minutes rather then 40 days to get the 10 commandments written on the tablets. And perhaps Moses would have returned well before the golden calf ever went into production.

For 12 months we are indoctrinated with a code of ethics that requires we never say any idea is worthless. Personally I have found that the best way to deal with such a situation is to write the worthless ideas on the flip chart but never transfer them to the permanent white boards. (Obviously, this rule is put in abeyance when the boss is expressing the worthless ideas.)

Before graduation, we tackle the issue of building consensus in a group. I almost failed this course. It goes against my personal philosophy. My position is that, as Americans, we live by majority rule and not consensus. Unfortunately the hippy culture in the 1960's gave credence to the idea of trying to make everyone happy.

Many business owners have asked me how they can differentiate between a qualified facilitator and an imposter. Fortunately, the Federal Trade Commission has finally succumbed to our lobbying efforts. It has ruled that facilitators will be recognized as a bona fide profession.

In the future only facilitators who have graduated from an approved program and proudly wear the golden flip chart pin on their lapels are permitted to be paid outlandish sums of money.

So next time you see me at the airport I will have my trusted flip chart, my case of Mount Blanc magic markers, and a boarding pass for first class. Us professional facilitators prefer not to rub elbows with the common businessmen in coach.

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